The Right Reasons
by Very Sincerely Yours
Summary: Sally was hysterical. Nora ran for blood. Aidan was dying. Josh was left to pick up the pieces. Hurt!Aidan.
1. Part 1

**The Right Reasons**

SUMMARY- Sally was hysterical. Nora ran for blood. Aidan was dying. Josh was left to pick up the pieces. Hurt! Aidan.

**Right, well there aren't enough hurt! Aiden fics, no scratch that, I haven't found ANY so I decided to write one… or more… soon… Aidan's always looking after Josh but why can't it be the other way 'round? Vampires aren't invincible after all…**

**t.t.f.n.**

_~.~_

_It had taken too long. I knew the whole time, but I just didn't admit it. First I chose not to care, then came the beginning of anxiety that I forced back down. Next came reassurance, me trying to convince myself that everything was fine. Then was denial. The denial lasted the longest._

_I honestly thought that everything was going to be okay. Because he promised me that he'd come home. He promised both of us. But I know now that he was lying. Because what he was really saying was goodbye. I'll protect you, and goodbye._

_Maybe we shouldn't have done this. Pretending to be human. Maybe then we'd both be living our separate lives, two monsters in a monster-eat-human world. Maybe I wouldn't be waiting for him to come home, when I know that he won't. Maybe he wouldn't be out there, trying to protect me. To protect all of us._

_And deep down, I know that this is my fault. She said that he was sick, but I didn't care. I couldn't care, because we all have problems. It had been hard, but we got this far and now I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe if I listened to him we wouldn't be here. Life wouldn't be so difficult._

_But if life weren't difficult, it wouldn't be worth living._

_~.~_

_And so, when Aidan walked through the door I thought he was the living dead. He is, but that's beside the point. One of the first things he told me was that a stake to the heart turns a vampire into dust. I didn't see why he wasn't just a pile of ash. And I'd never know a vampire to take blood from another of their kind, but it had to've happened. Or at least vampires had to be fond of using their teeth as weapons. But above all these little observations that crept into my mind I found myself wondering how he could still be standing. It was only seconds later when I found my answer. He couldn't. I raced forward to catch him before he hit the ground, but I knew that it would be no use. Sally was screaming at me, Nora too I think. I didn't hear them at first. Everything was blurry and rushed and all I could think about was the sound of my friend's body hitting our floorboards. Floorboards that were supposed to be a symbol of normalcy, of a new life._

_How stupid we were._

_~.~_

"Oh god, Aidan!"

Josh ran towards Aidan, kneeling beside him. The vampire was shaking in uncontrollable bursts. Josh found himself wondering whether vampires could go into shock. He seemed to be wondering a lot of things, even though none of them were helping.

The first helpful thought that entered his mind came long after it should have. He found himself screaming at Nora, telling her to get blood. He didn't care where it came from. Aidan needed it and he needed Aidan, so it would come at any and all costs.

And then Nora ran out of the door, slamming it behind her. Sally appeared at Aidan's other side and together, she and Josh tried to get him to open his eyes and tell them what to do. They had never felt so hopeless without Aidan there to order them around.

It took a few minutes for Aidan to open his eyes. It took much longer for those eyes to focus and in the end they never truly did. He tried to call out to Josh, because he couldn't tell whether he was alone anymore and he heard a weak rasp that he assumed was his voice. He felt a hand around his own moments later, and that was all the conformation he needed. Josh was here. They were safe.

Josh picked Aidan up slowly, trying not to hurt him. Aidan barely responded and Josh didn't know whether to be relieved or scared. He told Sally to get towels, water, anything she could carry. To keep trying until she got as much as possible upstairs. It was one of the only times that he didn't mind if glasses smashed all over the floor.

When he finally managed to carry Aidan up the stairs, Josh headed straight for the bathroom. He placed Aidan down on the cold tiles and ran some water.

The stakes were the easiest to remove. He found four, one wedged so deeply that he was sure the extra strength he had thanks to the approaching full moon was the only reason he had been able to remove it. Aidan's unresponsiveness only scared him further. When Sally finally made it to the bathroom, walking agonizingly slowly and staring far too fixatedly on the white towels in her trembling fingers, he told her to try and keep Aidan awake while he tried to stop the bleeding.

"He can't be dead, he can't be dead…"

"Sally! He is dead, okay, now keep him awake."

"Be he can't be a dead vampire."

"Dead vampire's redundant…"

Sally and Josh looked down as they heard Aidan's weak voice. He was pale and his eyes were still closed, but he was talking to them. That was a good sign… wasn't it?

"Alright, you've got to hang in there man," Josh all-but screamed. "Tell me what to do, just tell me what to do."

"…b-blood."

"Nora's going to get it, she'll be here soon. Sally, go check on Nora. You'll be fine, she'll bring it soon."

Sally left without a word and Josh was left with Aidan, the vampire slowly bleeding to death right before his eyes. He continued to press the towel against as many wounds as he could reach, still well aware that there were far too many in the first place.

"Aidan, who was it. Tell me…"

Aidan only moaned in response, his face tightening in pain. He clutched at Josh's hand, his grip horribly weak but obviously the most he could manage. Blood was pooling beneath them both, but the flow was slowly decreasing, either because of Josh's efforts or the lack of blood in Aidan's body. Josh, panicking, decided that he was going to do something- anything -so long as he thought it might help. He sat Aidan up and took off his shirt, dropping the ruined fabric without a second thought. A fresh towel was in his hand a second later and then soaking in the water that was now clogging the drain and pooling on half of the bathroom floor.

Damn their stupid pluming.

Once most of the blood was cleaned off Aidan's upper body Josh was able to find all the wounds his friend had sustained. Each bloody hole was huge and angry and still bleeding sluggishly. He thought it was a far better than before. Aidan still hadn't opened his eyes but his whimpers and moans were more frequent and as horrible as it was, Josh was glad to hear them. It meant that Aidan was still alive. Or… oh, you know what he meant.

Taking another towel, the last one Sally had brought up, Josh lifted Aidan again. He was silently thanking the gods that he was a were-wolf, something he thought he'd never do. He lay Aidan on the bed and sat behind him, wrapping one arm around his friend and using the towel to stop him from losing any-more blood. After a while he just stopped and held him, trying to keep him awake. He didn't know how long it'd been, but he knew that if he saw Nora now he would've been sure that she was an angel.

"… Josh?"

"I'm here okay; you've got to hold on."

Aidan moved his head slightly, until it was lying over Josh's heart.

"… Josh…"

Josh took a deep breath and held his now free hand against the side of Aidan's face, holding his friend close. The vampire was far too cold and far too limp in his arms. Where the hell was Nora?

"I'm here."

Josh felt Aidan's hands clinging to his shirt, his entire body shaking violently. Every breath had become a painful and quiet gasp and Aidan was making choked noises in the back of his throat, Josh's arms tightening with each sound.

He couldn't do anything other than wait, and beg Aidan to hold on.

"You just have to stay with me, just stay with me now."

The harsh breathing was getting quieter, the hands clawing more desperately.

Josh saw Aidan's face when air finally escaped him, and he found himself wondering why vampires even needed to breathe. They were dead, weren't they?

He wished he'd asked Aidan before, because now he wouldn't get a chance to.

It was then that he finally realised that he'd given up. He'd lost all hope for his best friend.

He hated himself for it.

Aidan's pain-filled eyes met his as his friend choked pathetically and their hands tangled again. They held on to each other through that tiny link.

Josh could feel Aidan slowly slipping away…

"No! Aidan, Aidan!"

Aidan whispered his name one last time, with the last once of air in his lungs. There was one final squeeze before his hand went limp in Josh's, one final look before Aidan's eyes lost focus. The steady stream of tears that had poured down the vampire's cheeks finally started to slow.

Sally chose that exact moment to appear in front of him, blood-bags in her arms. Nora burst through the door only a second later, and before he had time to so much as think about thinking about what the hell had taken them so long and how Sally was even holding solid objects, he found himself ripping the top off of a bag and pouring the blood down Aidan's throat. Half of it was covering the vampire's face, but Josh was handed another bag almost as soon as the current one was emptied. He did that for three more with no response, and finally he gave up any slither of hope he had left and clutched his friend to him again, actually sobbing for the first time that night. He heard Sally whispering oh god, oh god, over and over again. Nora just didn't move.

Josh stayed like that for what felt like hours, his face, hands and shirt covered in Aidan's blood. He rocked his friend, sobbing and crying hysterically.

~.~

_They say death is peaceful. That the spirit of a lost loved one will finally be at rest. They lie. There is nothing peaceful about holding a friend, family member or lover in your arms and begging them to move. To breathe, to show any sign of life. There is nothing peaceful about looking into their cold, dead eyes and seeing your reflection in the glassy surface. But death happens to all of us eventually. Sometimes it comes too soon, sometimes lifetimes too late. But it always comes. It takes people from us and makes us blame ourselves. We beg the departed to return to us, so we can see them one more time. Maybe one more time will make all the difference._

_But the dead never return. And if they do, it is never for the right reasons._

_~.~_

"Josh… Josh, look at me. Josh! Josh, look he's…"

Josh looked up at Nora's words.

And Aidan's eyes met his.

As Aidan whispered his name over and over Josh held him tightly, more relieved than he had ever been before. Nora came and wrapped her arms around both of them, and Sally danced around the room, jumping for joy. It didn't matter that the bathroom, stairs and living room were thick with Aiden's blood. He didn't care that he smelt horrible, or that he had work only a few hours from now. Hell, he didn't even care that the full moon was two nights away. Aidan was right there, he was breathing and moving and alive in his arms.

Well, you know what he means.

~.~

**-I'm thinking one more chapter, or is this final enough as it is?**


	2. Part 2

**Part 2**

~.~

_Life is hard. It's hard for every-one. But humans tell themselves that it doesn't matter. That when I die, everything will just disappear. They say I may be a thief, a liar, a horrible person but I'm no killer and they move on._

_But what if you were a killer? What if you didn't have a choice? You could say, yes I kill people but I don't want too and it doesn't make any difference. Because to humans, monsters are all evil, no matter how hard they try not to be. And what if, after you died, you were just stuck. Nothing would ever go away and you think to yourself, why can't I be human again? Because normal people think that humanity is a curse, that they never get enough time. But what if you had enough time? What if you had eternity to think about every bad thing you've ever done? What if you're forced to relive your crimes, never being able to stop yourself?_

_And what if you're stuck telling yourself, yes I kill people but I don't want too but you know that it will never make a difference? Because it is impossible for humans to forgive a monster when they're too busy trying to forgive themselves. So you think, if I become human then I'll be forgiven. I'll finally be happy and maybe even normal. But if life is hard, then finding humanity must be impossible. And only a monster can understand that, because humans have it already and they take it for granted. It's just life, they say. Work and taxes and the stupid back-stabber who hasn't returned my kitchen knives._

_Human's have families, friends people who care about them and will forgive them, even in the worst of situations._

_And the monsters are left alone._

_~.~_

There was a time after that night where everyone just walked around aimlessly, sometimes fussing over him, sometimes over the floor. It seems that they had come so close to death, true death, that it left all of them shocked to the core. Aidan found himself wondering whether he should have died, if it would have been better than living like he was.

He was walking down their street now, feeling life all around him. It was the first time he had been let out of the house since then and he was thankful for it, even though he knew that Josh wanted him home before he left to wolf-out, or whatever it was that he did.

Josh told him what Sally had done, travelling into the locked store-room and coming out with blood. Nora had taken it to the house in her car, but Sally had picked it up and re-appeared in the room with it again. He asked Aidan how it was possible but Sally had interrupted before he could answer. She said, "It's like you told me once, Josh. If you love some-one, anyone that much… you'll be surprised at what you do." That was all she said before disappearing and Josh had just stood, thumped his shoulder and left.

Was that what he was living for? His friends? A ghost, a were-wolf and a vampire under one roof. A dysfunctional family of sorts. He hadn't had a family, one that actually loved him and that he loved back, since he was human. Maybe that was why they had gotten this far, because love was a human emotion, and human was what they were trying so hard to be.

He walked up the steps to the flat and slipped inside. Josh was sitting on the couch, tense and seemingly anxious. He looked up when the door opened and Aidan didn't think that the wolf had ever been more relieved. This confused him, because he didn't matter that much to Josh. Or did he? Caring was just so complicated after all, how was he supposed to figure it all out by himself after all those years alone?

Still, Josh doesn't really do anxious… or at least not for him.

"You're back."

"I'm back."

"You're fine."

"Completely fine."

"Everything's good."

"Better than good."

They had spoken so fast that Aidan was sure that reassuring his friend was some sort of verbal reflex. Josh just nodded furiously, pacing and fussing with anything he could get his hands on.

"Josh."

"Good, good. Fine."

"You're avoiding something."

"What would I ever want to avoid, Aidan? Tonight's the full moon, you're almost out of blood, the house is falling apart and messy, really messy and you almost died… again… only what, forty-eight hours ago? Those things don't need to be avoided Aidan, normal people don't avoid those things because normal people don't have to deal with them!"

"You're angry."

"Angry? No. Damned? Yes."

"You're not damned, Josh…"

"Aren't we all? We're monsters. I turn into a vicious animal once a month, Sally possesses people and you feed on human blood. If you think we're going to heaven once this is over then you are sadly mistaken."

"Josh"-

"And we are going to die, soon, because of all the drama and life threatening situations, well that's if you can call this life."

"Josh"-

"And then what'll happen, because one of us will be gone first and the others are stuck here…"

Aidan hadn't moved during Josh's rant but he did now, stepping in front of his friend and putting a hand on his shoulder. He forced the other man to look into his eyes and saw the fear there. It was then that he thinks he finally got it. Josh almost lost him, and he didn't want to be alone. He remembered what it felt like to be alone and out of control. A true monster. Josh and Sally were the only things keeping him from that. He sighed and looked down, preparing his next words. He understood Josh's emotions and it was his job as a friend to help him put them at ease.

"I'm sorry I almost left you."

He felt Josh flinch then and paused before continuing.

"But were fine. Maybe not in a few months, weeks even, but we're fine now."

They were silent for a few minutes before Josh pulled back, nodding.

"Okay. Just… there's still some blood in the fridge, Sally's around somewhere and I'll be at the storage facility all night."

"You sound like my mother."

"I don't think they had storage facilities in the middle ages."

"Oh, ha ha."

Josh smiled at that and nodded again before picking up his keys and walking towards the door. He slid on his jacket and reached for the handle, letting his hand rest on the worn metal for a few seconds before he moved.

"Just, take it easy."

Aidan nodded.

"Yes mum."

And Josh was gone.

~.~

_Aidan didn't know why he followed Josh's instructions that night. It was one of the first times. Maybe he was tired, or he thought that he owed Josh for the emotional turmoil he had put him through._

_Or Josh could just be the motherly figure in his life, not so farfetched in his opinion._

_Either way, he took it easy, lying on the couch, finishing a blood bag and watching Scarface in HD. And for once, he felt moderately happy._

~.~

_We think that some people end up in hell. That if you do bad things and do not earn forgiveness then do you not deserve peace. But what is bad? For a human, it's breaking the law. Murder, theft, forgery. What people classify as 'bad' are things that no human is supposed to, or even allowed to do._

_But if humans define their own laws, then don't monsters have the same right? Killing may be bad for a human, but for a monster… it could just be their nature. An instinct. Do monsters have a right to their own guidelines? Because if you think about it, humans and monsters aren't that different. They both have their own instincts and urges, the ability to do good things and the ability to do bad things. What's different about two species, fighting for a place in this tiny world? Species that will never truly be understood, by their own kind or anyone else. But we refuse to live in harmony, because there is always a need for conflict among animals._

_And that is all we are. A being made up of basic, primal intelligence and those instincts that we do our best not to follow. Because somehow, when humans defined the good and the bad, instinct was the worst._

_And then there is love, the worst of those instincts._

_And if bad things result in damnation after life, then love… _

… _that deserves a fate worst then death._

~.~

**FIN**

~.~


End file.
